Klaine:Picture Us Together part 10

Chaper 10 - Finally Alone

Rating: PG-13
Length: 3,663 words.
Ship: Klaine.

***

It was the most stressful day Kurt ever had in his life. He hadn't slept one second that night and in order not to interrupt Blaine's sleep he got up twice and went in to the bathroom to wash his face and cry a little. He sensed that he couldn't stand the pressure anymore and apparently even Blaine wouldn't be able to understand what he's going through.

He pulled out the paper with his monologue and repeated the lines

"O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I!  Is it not monstrous that this player here, But in a fiction, in a dream of passion, Could force his soul so to his own conceit"

He remembers it. He must remember it. Each time he rereads the words his thoughts wander into the cold room where he will be standing at tomorrow morning. Standing alone as eight pairs of eyes examine him. He was trying to understand how he could not be frozen knowing that every single movement he does is being put to the test and affects his acceptance to theatre studies.

He can't wake Blaine now. It wouldn't be fair that Blaine will be exhausted in his audition just because of him. He must be quiet.

Kurt washed his face for the third time in cold water. He dried himself with the little towel and sneaked back into the double bed that felt more uninviting than ever. He tried placing his head in every possible angle, but the pillow felt estranged.

Every single position on the bed felt uncomfortable. He clung to Blaine, trying to breathe in hope from his low breaths.  He slowly pressed his hand on Blaine's back, trying to focus all his thoughts in one single spot, in Blaine's heartbeats and not the horrible test that would occur tomorrow. He knew that something else is probably going to happen tomorrow, but he was too concentrated on thoughts about Juilliard that he could still deny all of the other worries.

***

"Kurt! Kurt!" Kurt rose from the bed frightened and lifted aside the blankets "your alarm clock is ringing, haven't you noticed?"

"It's today…it's…today" he gasped and jumped out of bed.

The clothes that Kurt chose for the audition were already placed on the little couch in front of him. He wore them even before his thoughts woke up and started stressing him more. His heart was beating fast. How can Blaine be so calm?

"Blaine" he turned to him "when did you get dressed?"

"What? Ah, just now" he said while searching for documents in his backpack "I'm making tea, you want some?"

"Yes…yes" Kurt yawned and went to brush his teeth when the thoughts started popping again: must run and catch the subway early, must not forget any of the documents at home, I can't forget lines from the monologue, maybe I should rehearse it on my way, oh and get something to eat right before the test, and bring a bottle of water, there might be a long line there. Kurt  was in a situation where he was willing to do anything including jumping from the balcony and breaking a leg, just so that he wouldn't have to confront that moment when a group of experts evaluated his abilities.

"Finished brushing your teeth?" Blaine approached him with his backpack, already prepared for the audition "come here" he kissed him on the lips and Kurt didn't want to let go.

"Mmm mint," Blaine joked "let's warm your tongue a little bit" he gave him his mug of tea and sat in front of him to drink from his cup. Kurt was quieter than usual.

"Kurt I know you're tense. I am too."

Not like I am hun, you slept for ten hours

"I can't believe that I can barely talk to you. I will declare my audition a success if I manage to talk to them" Kurt meant the evaluators -  they were dark vague figure and just the thought of them made his heart race.

"Come on. Stop it! You'll be great," he patted his shoulder "we'll get through this together, and we'll even make it fun." He put down his tea to get up and hug him.

"Thanks, Blaine." Kurt sank in his seat in frustration while Blaine hurried to arrange Kurt's stuff in the backpack they were sharing.

After Kurt continued to linger a few more minutes in dazed state, like he'd just returned from a war - an inner war with himself. Blaine gently pulled him outside of the room, slowly locking the door.

Kurt started running down the corridor when Blaine stopped him "Kurt, there's still plenty of time! Let's just try and calmly make our way there," he chuckled and led Kurt to the elevator.

"Thanks," Kurt said and rubbed his head on Blaine's shoulder "I admit I haven't slept enough." He yawned again.

They got together to the entrance floor of the hotel. All the people seemed to be concentrated in their routine. Working in serenity like it's just another day of living; moving without any expectations. They weren't like Kurt – splitting his life to before and after.

Neither the clerks, nor the receptionist could see that for the tall boy that went past them, this day is one of the most important in his life.

"Wait here for a sec?" Blaine let Kurt hold their shared bag while pulling a wallet out of it then he entered the little coffee place that was near the entrance door. Kurt didn't have to wait for him long. He returned with two muffins and a lettuce sandwich for Kurt.

"Everything is going to be fine" he whispered in his ear while they went past the turning door in the exit of the hotel. It was a sunny day in the city of sky scrapers that they wanted to live in so much.

"Blaine, how can you be so calm?" Kurt asked while they walked side by side into the subway on their way to 66 St. Lincoln Center.

"I'm really stressed too Kurt, in case you haven't seen." He longed for a little bit of attention from him.

"You're hiding it really well," Kurt emphasized as they passed the ticket machine and stood together in the crowded car where people were squashing them in all directions.

"I've done a lot of auditions" Blaine tried to explain his ability to withstand the pressure "at some point the body doesn't have any more energy to excite itself all over again. It just…gets used to it."

"You just have to get through this." Kurt understood as they reached the underground station and made their way between the hundreds of people into the stairway up into the warm street.

Kurt, I helped you prepare for that monologue. Trust me when I tell you that you'll be amazing."

"Thanks" He rubbed his nose on Blaine's and kissed him, "I'm  just afraid that it will all go to waste once I stand there in front of them and start to tremble and stutter and-"

Hey, trust me – you won't. Just a little bit of courage and you'll get through this too"

They crossed the road together and continued to walk slowly a few more streets until they got there - Juilliard. The place they will study together, if they could only be talented enough and if Rachel wasn't accepted to NYU.

Kurt didn't know if it's stressing or soothing to see how huge the place is. He closed his eyes and Blaine's hand pulls him inside the huge glass doors and up the stairs into the second floor.

Ten other candidates were there: leaning on the walls, sitting on the chairs or walking in circles while revising their monologues, trying to cling to the words that will stay in them as they go through the door.

Blaine turned to all of them "Hi everyone, is this where the auditions for Juilliard acting program are?"

"Yes" a blond boy answered "Did you register in advance?"

"Oh, yes. I am Blaine" he shook his hand "maybe we'll classmates here next year."

"I hope so. This is the last day of exams and the testers are pretty tired" he didn't mean to scare them, more to pray that it will turn out for the best for everyone.

Kurt took the papers of his two monologues and started mumbling them while stalking around, waiting for Gregory Jones and Grace Perce to enter before him and then he'll have seven torturous minutes of thinking that he's next. Blaine sat on the floor with his back leaning on the wall. He didn't memorize his text and didn't even let himself think about it. He just closed his eyes and breathed a set of steady slow breathes, like he's shedding the pressure off of him each time.

Kurt decided to shut down the voice inside him that kept saying 'only 18 out of thousands are finally accepted' He turned to speak too to all the candidates that were there, quietly, so he won't interrupt the boy who's inside, but seriously.

"Listen guys. Our odds of acceptances are slim. Only a tenth of applicants are accepted each year to study acting here but it doesn't even matter now! I mean, it's fun to pass the test, but we have to believe that it's not what's going to stop you and me from developing an acting career." One of the boys nodded emphatically.

"I mean, if we don't, it means we deserve a much better place. We can't give the 4 people beyond this door more power on us than what they truly deserve. Let's stop. I will do my best to impress them. If they can't recognize the potential that I see in myself and that I believe that exists in all of you, and in every single person in this world, then I guess it's not the best acting school in New York. It will only mean that we deserve better!"

A few smiles that appeared on the worried faces proved Kurt that he was agreed with. Blaine also looked at him with proud, gleaming eyes.

"Hey! Let's create a circle" Blaine convinced everyone with his assertiveness. Most of them cooperated.

"Everyone will tell something about himself so we can get to know each other better. I mean, we're all going to learn here together next year." He laughed and the others grinned because of his exaggerated optimism.

"You know what I like the most about acting school?" Blaine did some stand-up comedy "that you don't learn how to act there. You have to come with the experience and knowledge from beforehand. And here... You only advance from there. Silly, huh?"

The atmosphere in the corridor softened. They did a circle game where each one told one or two facts about themselves.

The first candidate came back with his head bent down.

"How was it?" someone from the circle asked him.

"A disaster. They didn't even let me finish my text." He collected his papers and ran down the stairs before he'd be asked more.

One of the girls got up and entered gently through the door.

"You know what? I'd be happy if I'm not accepted" the boy from before yelled from the stairs, voice broken, "I hate this competitive atmosphere, everyone against each other instead of fellowship and sharing between actors and between the teachers. I know there are already a limited number of places for students, but it's still done unfairly,"

"I have to admit that I don't believe in talent" Blaine agreed with him trying to cheer him up.

"I understand you too" Kurt added "I cross my fingers that you get accepted anyway because each and every one of us who got to here wants it real bad."

They continued to talk more, but now as a united group; all of them sharing something big in common – the desire to get the legendary acceptance letter.

Grace Perce returned white from the test room and when Kurt Hummel passed by her to enter to his exam it was like he was infected by the white of anxiety too. Kurt was convinced that if someone were to touch his forehead they would find it cold.

He entered the room slowly and quietly, giving himself time to gaze at the evaluators that sat behind the long table and stared at him.

"Kurt Hummel" read one of them from a piece of paper.

"Yes" he said and nodded with fake confidence.

They looked at him with their pens poised in their hands, waiting for him to start his classical monologue.

He swallowed and tried to find the exact right second to start in.

He spoke loudly and with diction " O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I! " he stopped after every word in order to breathe.

"Is it not monstrous that this player here, But in a fiction, in a dream of passion, " he mustn't hurry now. Every word must have a meaning.

"Could force his soul so to his own conceit. That from her working all his visage wanned, " he gave a pause, took a deep breath and tried not to let his presence escape from the room. It would be worse if he performed the character on "automated mode" he has no chance to succeed if he falls in that trap.

" Tears in his eyes, distraction in his aspect, A broken voice, and his whole function suiting  " line after line. On the one hand he wants it to be over already. On the other hand he's wringing all of his inner feelings like a rag and drains them into the words that Shakespeare wrote to so many actors before him.

" I have heard that guilty creatures sitting at a play. Have by the very cunning of the scene" does Kurt have a little bit of Hamlet in him?

"Been struck so to the soul that presently. They have proclaimed their malefactions,"
There is some sorrow in him, perplexity, and indecision. Yes, he'll exploit them all from inside of him and let his emotions to colour the words.

"For murder, though it have no tongue, will speak
With most miraculous organ. I'll have these players
Play something like the murder of my father. Before mine uncle."


He let his unwavering concentration break for a split second to look at the testers, at their eyes that gazed through their glasses lenses or the papers they were skimming through. He's trying to conceal his lack of concentration as a long meaningful pause, but they all noticed it.


"I'll observe his looks. I'll tent him to the quick. If 'a do blench, I know my course." he has no choice but to let go and slow down the pace and to continue from a phase where one word leads to another.

"Out of my weakness and my melancholy, As he is very potent with such spirits," his thread of thoughts is as thin as that of a spider's web. He's planning his next lines and concentrated on his inner motive at the same time.

"Abuses me to damn me. I'll have grounds More relative than this" he slows even more to the finishing words "The play's the thing. Wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king. " and finally raises his head proudly, looking at them straight while repeating to himself 'every audition pushes me forward'

"Thank you Kurt" said one of the evaluators and motioned him to call the next one.

He wants to be stressed again, but there's no energy left in him. The monologue drew all his powers away from him.

Blaine only had a short while to hug him and whisper, "you were great. I eavesdropped through the wall."

Now Blaine's in the threatening room.

"Blaine Anderson," read loudly one of the evaluators.

"Hello" Blaine replied "I will start with a classical monologue from Oedipus the kind" he started a rapport with all of them by creating eye contact and checking that they were attentive before beginning.

"Your prayers are heard: and if you will obey. Your king, and hearken to his words, you soon shall find relief. myself will heal your woes."

He went into a trance where there were no evaluators, no noisy air conditioner that's set on freezing cold and of course no Blaine Anderson. Just a modest Oedipus, a little young for his age, but full of life and hidden layers.

" That sceptre now is mine which Laius bore;  His wife is mine; so would his children be  Did any live; and therefore I am bound, E'en as he were my father, to revenge him. " looking back, Blaine was surprised from himself too that he managed to act a king, bring a stronger persona than his own.

" But on you, my Thebans, Who wish us fair success, may justice smile Propitious, and the gods forever bless!" he finished the monologue and stopped for a second.

"I chose for my contemporary monologue The Invisible Man by Wells" he presented the second monologue before they could tell him to leave. It will be a short version of the famous Griffin monologue."

He did feel a little bit impudent for not letting them speak, but he had a feeling that this is the kind of artists they're looking for.

"I shall tell you the whole story. But you must promise not to tell a soul. You will make a bargain with me, Dr. Kemp. Do not forget for an instant that though you cannot see me, I can see you all the time. " He was finally doing for the last time the lines he memorized thousands of times with Kurt and he recalled all they've been through on their way to this day.

"Do not forget for an instant that though you cannot see me, I can see you all the time. One false move--one sign of giving warning to anyone--and you are as good as dead. "  he and Kurt rehearsing together on the bus.

"I have had many adventures as an invisible man ... but it is not going as I had planned. I am invisible only when I am undressed; with clothes on, I can be seen as easily as you. Do you know what it is like to run through the streets and fields on a night like this, without a stitch on one's back? He and Kurt lying down on the grass near a small lake, analyzing and splitting the sentences into bits and actions.

"Just think, man. I need an accomplice. With you in on my secret, I can take refuge in your house. I can sleep in your bed, eat at your table, warm myself by your fire, and none will be the wiser. I made a huge mistake, Kemp, in trying to carry the thing through alone." Blaine started surprising himself again, after such a long time. He loved what he did in that audition. He was tranquil, delivering the text gently and softly. He was much more than secure and accurate, matching his words to fit for every evaluator. Looking at their eyes as he uses them for the doctor from the play. He addresses them."

He hoped that they were undergoing an inner process just like he was.

"Thank you Blaine Anderson" interrupted him in the middle of a sentence one of the testers. They must already have consolidated an opinion about him.

But..Why can't they tell him right now? How could someone just be left in the status of not knowing like that? That's what Blaine thought about as he walked through the door and cleared the room for the next candidate.

He smiled to Kurt right away in order to calm him down and turned to speak to the others "Good luck to all of you! Add me on Facebook – Blaine Anderson!" he said exuberantly and hugged one of the boys there that Kurt didn't catch the name of.

"Good luck" Kurt said right after him to everyone still there.

Finally Blaine turned his whole attention to Kurt" Come on. Let's indulge in a Cappuccino, on me" he wrapped a hand on Kurt's back and went with him to the cafeteria of Juilliard.

They sat down to drink and swap experiences from the test when Blaine noticed that Kurt was drained out from energy to continue with this day. He walked with him back to the hotel so he could catch on some sleep.

"At first I thought that I would only be able to sleep after the test, but I now I think I won't. I have to know if we got in or not."

"You're in a less stressful phase now. You did all you could and there's no thought in the world that would change that now. So let it go."

"I can't wait to get to bed already. I want to sleep like forever."

"You will, but there's something else we should be doing, sleeping beauty" he kissed Kurt in an unexpected manner, but he came back to his senses and co-operated.

The ride back on the subway was much calmer. It was also noon and the hotel was almost empty from tenants. In his room, Kurt hurled himself on the bed right away and without a word to Blaine sailed to a deep trouble free sleep.

Blaine crashed on the couch, placing his hands behind his back and trying to estimate how his auditionwas: there were parts he was satisfied with and parts that raised doubts about his ability. He told himself that ' you have to try something in order to know if it works' whenever he recalled parts he wasn't accurate in his acting.

Juilliard or not. There are hundreds of acting schools in New York and only one of them will be lucky enough to take in both Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson.